13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

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One day recently I stopped by a bookstore without thinking too much about it, and I found a book called 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.

Things strong people don’t do?

Well, I wanted to be mentally strong, so I thought I needed to read it. Maybe you too!

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

 

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

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What type of person should read this book?

 

“To everyone who’s making an effort and who wants to be stronger than yesterday.”

 

That’s the sentence that starts the first page.

 

Everybody  is struggling and wants to be strong.

I don’t think anyone (including myself) likes the current situation, and people spend their days wanting to get out of it.

Everyone understands that, but it’s not easy to take action.

This book makes you braver. Based on the author’s own hard experience, it explains how to get through difficult situations.

If you’re struggling, you may find a clue in the book’s message.

key

Stopping bad habit .. it makes you happy.

It focuses on stopping bad habits in order to get mentally stronger. “Your worst habits determine your value,” it says.

It also says the following: Good practice is important, but bad habits are often the reason why you can’t reach your full potential.

If you practice well but keep your bad habits, you won’t be able to reach your goal.  

STOP

There are lots of bad habits that people want to get rid of, but it’s very difficult to do this. Eating too many sweets and smoking are examples. Amy Morin, the author of the book, recommends cutting out negative habits.

Amy Morin, the author of the book

What do you know about her?

Morin studied Social Work at the University of Maine, graduating in 2001. After finishing her bachelor’s education, she enrolled with the University of New England for advanced studies and graduated with a Master’s degree in Clinical/Medical Social Work in 2002.

 From : https://peoplepill.com/people/amy-morin/

セラピー

She is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, college psychology instructor and internationally recognized expert on mental strength.

What is “13 things”  for ?

You can see from the Table of contents of this book.

  1. They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves
  2. They don’t give away their power.
  3. They don’t shy away from change.
  4. They don’t waste energy on things they can’t control.
  5. They don’t worry about pleasing everyone.
  6. They don’t fear taking risks.
  7. They don’t dwell on the past.
  8. They don’t make the same mistakes over and over.
  9. They don’t resent other people’s successes.
  10. They don’t give up after the first failure.
  11.  They don’t fear alone time.
  12. They don’t feel the world owes them anything.
  13. They don’t expect Immediate results.

 

Let me summarize a few parts.

② They don’t give away their power

Morin given her patient case.

Patient ; Condition of  Mrs. Lawrence.

Case

Mrs. Lawrence who had a lot of stress due to an issue with her mother-in-law. The latter was very selfish, and she often showed up at her house without warning and stayed for a long time. She also interfered in matters concerning Mrs. Lawrence’s children. However, Mrs. Lawrence couldn’t say anything to her and just kept smiling. This went on for a while, and finally her anger reached its maximum and she started to take it out on her husband.

Examine her current situation

First Morin looked into her patient’s current situation. She analyzed her lifestyle by making a pie chart that indicated how much time and energy she spent on work, sleep, leisure, family, her mother-in-law, etc.

Results her current situation

Surprisingly it turned out that Mrs. Lawrence spent five hours a week with her mother-in-law, and also that she spent even more time than that having bad thoughts about her.

pie chart

Lawrence realized how spent waste of time…

What she realized was that her mother-in-law controlled much of her life. She realized that she’d wasted time and energy on hating the woman, time and energy that she should have spent elsewhere.

Morin give advice

Morin says that if you refuse to give away your power, you’ll have more confidence in yourself and your decisions, no matter what people are around you or what your circumstances are.

A lot of people can’t say their own opinions because they don’t want to be hated.

If you don’t make a boundary between yourself and others and always think about others, you’ll give them your power and live only for them.

It’s kind of look like Albert Adler

This reminded me of the psychology of Albert Adler.

アドラー

This is a very similar way of thinking. I once read a similar book called The Courage to Be Disliked: How to Free Yourself, Change Your Life, and Achieve Real Happiness.


The Courage To Be Disliked: How to free yourself, change your life and achieve real happiness (Courage To series)

③ They don’t shy away from changes

Change is a difficult issue. I always think about it, but I can’t make changes.

Why can’t people change?

It’s because your thoughts and emotions stop you from taking action, even if it would improve your life. In addition, people are more worried about invisible possibilities in the future than about their current complaints. Most people think that if they make a change, they’ll be in a worse situation than they are now.

Yes…. I see..

Sarry

There are lots of points that this brings to mind. I can’t leave my job, because I’m worried that I might not be able to find a new one.

To make changes you need a strong mind, but if you don’t take action, nothing will change.

A good saying for people in this situation is

“You only live once!”

It’s important to be willing to take on new challenges!

yolo

⑬ They don’t expect immediate results

Experts doesn’t expect immediate results

Thinking that you can change all at once or that you can get results immediately sets you up for failure and weakens your resolve.

When a mentally strong person is getting a new business off the ground, he or she doesn’t expect immediate results.

Yes…. I see..

Sarry

This way of thinking is also important for things like dieting and English study. I should keep studying English, shouldn’t I?

English books

 

Let me explain Japanese idiom

In Japan there’s a saying, “Even a stone will get warm if a person sits on it for three years”.

stone

What that means is that you shouldn’t give up, and that perseverance and patience bring good results. Don’t give up!

never give up

 

Conclusion

I picked up three things from the book that especially interested me.

I thought it was a very emotionally healing book. There are lots of other tips for changing your mentality, so if you’re interested, pick it up and read it!


13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

 

If you interested Japanese, you can check this 👇

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sarry
独学でお菓子を作り始めてはや5年くらい。旅好きで現地で見つけたお菓子をアレンジして作ったり。旅先できままに本を読んだり。日々の出来事をつぶやいています。2020年7月より4か月間休職しました。11月に復帰!まだ慣れないし、のんびりいきます。